
Jeremiah 12:5
If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you, how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting, what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?
Years back I was called upon to provide a eulogy for my father in law at his funeral.
As you may know if you have read my testimony, my father passed when I was a young boy, thereby growing up without a strong father figure in my life. When I met my wifey, I naturally sought her father’s approval, not only to best my chances at snagging his pretty daughter, but also since he was a man willing to take on this mess of a fella, a young man who needed some guidance from one who had went before.
So as I entered into my wife’s family, I found my attachment to Pop became stronger and stronger, seeking him out every time we visited, looking for chances to have coffee with him, or maybe go on a call with him. Pop was a man who serviced furnaces in a small town north of Toronto, and his winters were busy!
Nevertheless, as I grew closer to him, I found I thought of him as a father, and not just a man who provided me a wonderful wife. So, when he passed, I was struck. And as was obvious to all, many in the family saw my connection with Pop and asked me to share a story or two of his impact on my life at his funeral.
To my shame, I could not control my emotions. I stood there, crying like a little boy, uncontrolled and of no use to those Pop left behind, of no benefit to his memory. They all knew I loved him, but my tears didn’t add anything to his memory for their sakes.
I hadn’t thought of this incident until recently, when I again was in a position where my emotions may steal away an opportunity to be of use to the Lord and to one of His.
A dear lady, who has been experiencing great pain due to witnessing her husband suffer the onslaught of cancer for over 4 years, has now been informed there is nothing the medical profession can do to provide hope. As I watch this young lady live her life, I am amazed at her faith, at her resiliency, at her willingness to be faithful and suffer pain for the one she loves. I have known her for many years, and as I consider her many trials, I stand back and am thankful for knowing her.
It was only a night or so back when I had the opportunity to pray with her, and when we held hands to pray, the emotion welled up in my heart and I fell apart.
At this point of weakness, I thought of Pops, and of the verse I began this post with. Though the Lord can hear our heartbreak, this young lady needed to hear more than an old man weeping.
You know, when things are good, it is easy to keep up, to say the right things, to be the one who appears to be in control. It is when things are tough, when we are competing against things greater than us, that we need to stand up and be counted, to control our lives in order to be a blessing to those about us, to forget about ourselves.
I think back on Pops, and realize I was consumed in my own grief, and my own memories and my own thoughts. It was about me at that time. Me me me.
My goodness, may the Lord rescue me from my self absorbed life and help me run with the horses when the times come.
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