I had the best of intentions. I really did. At least that is what I told myself. And then I took it. It seems as soon as I could take it, I took it. Inside I knew it was wrong, but the temptation was incredible and I took it, and I kept it for days

I knew I shouldn’t have, and theoretically, in my mind, I knew that as soon as I took it, I was in the wrong. Everything fell apart after that.

But let me back up a bit and give you a bit of history

It was months ago when I was chatting with a brother on Whatsapp, when I asked a pointed question. He had repeatedly confessed great peace and joy in the Lord, and yet, even though we were texting back and forth, it seemed he was overstating his peace, exaggerating his joy. It seemed forced.

It may have been my dullness, or lack of empathy, or weakness in discerning my brother’s statements, but I blurted out a very practical question regarding relationships he should be enjoying, relationships with those close to him, those who have stayed with him for decades.

“Congratulations. I will never speak to you again.”

A drastic turn of events in my mind, and I was hoping it was a snap response that wouldn’t hold, but after weeks and weeks of reaching out to him via text, it became obvious things were bad.

I ached for a solution, and I simply had to call him. He is in a foreign country and super busy with his growing business but I had to take a chance.

One ring a dingy, two ringa dingy.

“Well Carl – how are you, I was just thinking about you last night.”

I was taken aback by the friendly answer, and let him know I was calling about the last text he had sent. Mentally I was off balance, and after a moment, the conversation drifted into him telling me I was in the wrong, I was “doing it again”. When I asked what he was talking about, he simply talked over my request, said he had no time for me, and hung up.

And that is when I took it. Yes, I took offence, all of it, gulping it down like a drowning man!

You see, I have struggled with this sin of taking offence for many years, and have thought I had some victory. Obviously not in this instance, for as soon as I got home, all my pride and hurt feelings came pouring out.

What is wrong with him? Why did he hang up on me? Did he not understand I was trying to repair a relationship? Did he not know I was going out on a limb for him?

Such are the thoughts of a man centered on self. If I was concerned about him, and not my own feelings or pride, my inner anger would not have reared it’s ugly head. But I did, and I took that offense, and let it feed my hurt pride, feed my anger and starve my peace into a slow death.

You see, when I speak of my taking offence, it is related to my inner stance towards those who have stepped on my pride, ignored my assistance or even slandered my thoughts. (I told you I struggle with this problem!)

Can I make my brother change by taking offence? No, it actually works against any ministry towards the healing of a relationship.

The only result of my taking offence was the slander I spread of my brother, and the loss of my own peace, my joy, and my sleep. I stumbled bad, and it took far too long to practice the forgiveness the Lord has provided us.

Psalm 119:165 Great peace have those who love your law;
nothing can make them stumble.

He has called us to peace, even peace within ourselves.

Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

He has told us to overlook an offence. This includes the swallowing of your pride, which is something I readily admit I struggle with.

Ephesians 4:2-3 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Humilty. Only by resting in the Lord can we experience the humility that is of Him, and not something we can take pride in. (If you connect with that thought, welcome to the club of the self humbled!)

He is good, and we all give offence, but we need not take offence. Not if we understand who the Lord is, and how He has acted towards us. Which brings me to a passage that haunts me in the midst of times of taking offense. Consider how He has “pleased not Himself”

Romans 15:1-3

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.
For Christ did not please himself, but as it is written, “The reproaches of those who reproached you fell on me.”

May we all be a blessing to others, and not a curse to ourselves!

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