It was a good day, a day when things were getting accomplished, when I was finding success in connecting with people, coordinating actions and discussing ideas for the near and far future.

Yes I was enjoying my day, thinking I have it good – which is the truth! I have a beautiful family, having fathered five great children, and now the happy grandfather of nine more living souls. I am feeling healthy, having lost weight and having my doctor report that my blood pressure is down. I have a great job and so many multiple blessings have showered on my life, I feel it would be boastful to express them all.

Yes, I was having a great day. Nothing was at odds, until I took a bio-break, as as I was leaving the restroom, and washing my hands, I looked up into the mirror and noticed my pink shirt has a small stain on it. Just a small smudge, in the left side of my right pocket. A small discoloration, nothing to drastic.

And I became self aware.

Now, when I would enter into someone’s office to discuss an action item, I thought of my appearance. Although I have never thought of my self as a “clothes horse”, this small stain impacted my ability to freely discuss openly with my peers items related to work. I found myself using alternate methods of communication instead of simply walking to a peers desk.

Before I noticed the stain, I had relatively no hesitation to be with people. After, I was reluctant, withdrawn and quieter.

And this got me to thinking. Nothing in my experience regarding all the blessings God has showered down on me had changed. I still had a wonderful wife. My family hadn’t changed in the least. My job was great. Why the inner change with relating to others?

I became self aware. I was concerned with my appearance. I was focused on ME. This inner adjustment happens to all of us at different times in our lives, some more than others. Of course, some are consumed with this self awareness to the point they think of nothing but of themselves.

I suppose I should take note that when I think of myself, when I am consumed with ME, I am not purposedly thinking thoughts of how to please God, of what I should do in my life, how to think and act to reflect the mercy of God I have experienced, of how to relate to others and to be a servant to those I work with.

Am I advocating wearing spotted and stained shirts to work? I think you may be missing the point.

To be concerned with me, myself and I is the antipathy of walking the Christian life. It is not that I should be thinking little of myself, but that I should not be thinking of myself. To think of myself is to start to hollow out my life, to become a shell, a bit lonelier than I was a moment before.

Romans 12:3 For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Paul tells us not to think of ourselves more highly that we ought to think, but to think with sober judgement. In this context he is speaking of the reception of gifts from God, and even in the receiving of gifts from God, we are not to think of ourselves, other than in a sober judgement.

One last passage to dwell on for this topic of self awareness and its unfruitfulness. (Trust me, there are multiple passages that speak this truth!)

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Paul speaks of thinking on attributes of God and of His nature, and of these attributes being exhibited amongst us as we walk this earth. At no time do I see him addressing me as being worthy of thinking on, but the attributes we are to mimic.

Sometimes in my foolish walk, the Lord uses various ways to “”knock me on the head”. Something to take my attention off myself. I am sure His ministry in my life has greater challenges than simply redirecting my thoughts, but I am thankful I have a Savior that will continue to teach and direct me in my day to day walk with Him.

To think of His teaching His child by a stain on a pink shirt! He is so capable to communicate, and as believers, we need to be open to listening to some possibly surprising incidents, always checking with the truth of God’s Word to filter truth from mundane experiences.

A pink shirt. I think I may wear that shirt to work next week! And just forget about that stain!

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