2020-07-18 – Considering the Bible

Thoughts on the topic of children from the book of wisdom

My wife and I have 5 beautiful children, whom we love and cherish. Each of them are out of the house now, but not out of our heart.

We understand better now than ever the wisdom the following passages supply to parents, and my regret is in not paying better attention to the details of the precepts supplied below.

Oh – we sought to obey the following verses, but I have to admit, that discipline was administered sometimes without the child’s best interest considered.

Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Proverbs 19:18

Discipline your son, for there is hope;
do not set your heart on putting him to death.

All those parents out there who have sometimes disciplined thier child without seeking thier child’s benefit, but only a release of frustration, please raise your hand. I admit my weakness in this.

And yet the Lord has been very kind to this family.

When reading a passage such as above, keep in mind the one below.

Colossians 3:21

Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

A very wise lady, who was raising a teenager on her own, being abandoned by her husband, once told me a great secret on raising kids, specifically teens.

Are you ready? Talk to them and with them. That’s it! If you can maintain communication with your child from the preteen years through the teenage years, the battle is half done.

Teenagers

Sometimes when a teenager is fearing the discipline, it creates a wall that blocks discussions.

Do teenagers need discipline? Yes. I am not advocating a free for all.

What I am advocating is communication. Talk. Chatting. Chewing the fat. About the weather, drugs, the price of rice in China, or why the sky is blue. If your child knows he or she can talk to you, the chances are better (not guaranteed) that they will weather the storm of the teenage years.

Proverbs 22:6

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Notice that the verse does not say – Train up a child in the life you dream of. (Ahem – every child is not a sports superstar!)

Nor does it say, Train up a child in the way you are living. In other words, passive training. Kids are sponges, and they will soak up the bad habits the parents exhibit easier than the few good habits practiced.

Train up a child in the way he should go. The only way a parent will know that is through understanding the Word & Will of God and prayer. Oh and one more thing. The parent needs to understand the child. Which means back to the talking, chatting, discussing, chewing the fat – oh never mind – I think you get the idea.

Proverbs 22:15

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 29:15

The rod and reproof give wisdom,
but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

These passages do not quantify the amount of the rod of correction. Each child is different and a wise parent will know that. Correction should be done as much as possible, privately, since shaming of the child is not necessarily to his or her benefit. Of course if the child has done something against a sibling, the discipline may need to be observed, but the wise parent will understand each of the children’s character to best decide how to accomplish that.

Finally, when raising children, seek to make thier paths easy. The world will chew them up and spit them out on a daily basis. As a parent, follow after God, and walk in integrity.

Your children will be blessed.